Beyond the bruises

Violence against women isn't just physical. Emotional, mental and psychological abuse hurts just as much and causes wounds we can't see...but they are there swelling underneath the surface. Because it's not tangible, it can be harder to diagnose, believe and accept. But violence and abuse is about control. Someone doesn't have to hit you to exert control, words and actions have just as much power.

(Domestic Violence Wheel provided by the City of Covington, WA)

International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

In honor of this day (which should be every day), Goddesses Rising will be posting a series of articles, stories, photos, and calls for action in support of women all over the world who are raising awareness of violence in women's lives and denouncing it.

Stay tuned...

As One; I Am My Sister's Keeper

(photo from Shopmania.com)

Today (November 25) is the International Day to End Violence Against Women and Girls, a day where we raise awareness and denounce violence in our lives. Sister goddess, Jenellle, shared this information from Weaving the World online radio, who have created this online "conference" lasting until February 25, 2010, creating an ongoing discussion and healing circle. Please join in and spread the word!

An amazing conference that can be visited 24 hours a day

As One; I Am My Sister's Keeper
Conference joining millions on
International Day to End Violence Against Women and Girls
To The Conference

We are looking forward to your visit to the conference!

What You Can Do

1. forward this invitation to your friends

2. click the "share" button on the various conference pages to let your social networks know this exciting event

3. set aside time for downloading and/or listening to the conference

4. share the website address with those you meet between now and February (www.weavingtheculture.com)

5. join us in the vision for 500,000 visitors and a strong weaving of a culture that values women.


Dear MamaCoAtl,

I am pleased to send you an advanced invitation to the conference in which you are an appreciated participant.

The purpose of this event is to focus attention of the impact that violence against women and girls have on our world and to expand the voices of those women who are passionately laying foundations of a new world. What is happening through their and others contribution is that we are Weaving the Culture of a world that values women.

There are some amazing participants with a wide variety of thought, research and proposals. I hope that you can take time to listen.

There are two downloadable links so that you can "take the conference" with you.

We would like to have 500,000 visitors from around the world between November 25 and February 25. We can't do that without your help.

Please share this invitation with your e-mail circles. Each conference page has a "share" button that makes sending with your social networks an easy task. Remember the conference address so that you can share with women that you meet in the next three months.

Thanks so much for your generosity for this event. We plan to create more events during 2010. It is by coming together to weave a web that women have greater power.

Lots of love,

Sharon Riegie Maynard
weavingtheworld online radio
425-774-1142

Peace will come to our world when Peace comes to the women and girls of this world.

Knowing Strength (an addendum)

Trying to be timely in posting my thoughts on the AMAs, I left out the main highlight...Whitney Houston's comeback. We all know where she's been and what she's been through (remember the trainwreck that was "Being Bobby Brown") and even her comeback album has been met with lukewarm reviews. But this is where Whitney, the diva we have grown up with and still love despite her missteps, truly shines...in heartfelt ballads.

"Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive, I picked myself back up, held my head up high, I was not built to break, didn't know my own strength."--Whitney (or whoever wrote the song)

I'm bothered that I forgot this in the original post, especially since this performance and message touched me (and Reba as well)...perhaps a reflection of my tendency to put intellect before emotions, hide my feelings, and not always recognizing my own inner strength (until I'm tested). Or maybe I was just sleepy and need some gingko. I also neglected to mention another superwoman, Mary J. Blige, who is also a testament to overcoming obstacles with grace. I guess I should take notes instead of tweeting (that's how I missed Adam Lambert controversial performance!). Anyhoo, thanks Ms. Houston for the reminder that we can rise from the darkness no matter how far and hard we fall. Congrats, thank you and welcome back.

Ladies Hit and Miss at the AMAs

In case you missed the American Music Awards (God/ddess for bid), here's pretty much what you need to see. Oh, and Taylor Swift beat out Michael Jackson for the "Artist of the Year." She was very humble about it, and was totally floored. As was the audience. Hey Kanye, Taylor thanks you!

HITS:

because you know how i feel about Shakira, and the song has a positive, inspirational message ("anything you want you can make it yours"), and the women dancing on stage and in the aisles are powerful! people say i'm biased b/c of my love for her, and i am, but it was jammin'. that's a serious workout too, trust. stepping may not be her forte and the lyrics are simple, but it doesn't have to be profound, it's entertainment. big up.



i loved Gaga's performance...she shines on stage, theatrics to the max and rawe emotion. she can sing and play music...she's a bit out there but she's badass. i didn't get all the hype until she performed Paparazzi at the VMAS; now I'm a believer. *kicks self for not getting tickets to her show at Radio City*



and the Queen Janet Jackson, doing a medley of joints from "Control," "Rhythm Nation," "Janet," and "the Velvet Rope" and executing her old signature moves beautifully. i feel lucky to have grown up with her.



MISSES:

damn Rihanna, you know i'm cheering for you. but i also know that you're a studio singer and you make hot radio and album cuts, and you are not really a performer. i've seen her do better but you know, i still rock out to her joints on the album. in the meantime though, singing lessons for Ri-Ri?



and a million sighs and shaken heads for this performance from Jennifer Lopez debuting her new song, "Louboutins." The dancing was eh, but can we move on from these songs about shoes, clothes, labels, bullshit? An entire song advertising some expensive ass shoes? I know it's entertainment as I stated earlier, but this is wack. The beat isn't even club-worthy. Don't you have something better to sing about? Anything? Maybe you could write a song? And as I'm sure you know she falls in this performance...which isn't what makes it bad (I actually cringe seeing it)...maybe she's just trying to hard. (take cues from Janet's performance) thanks.

src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-MUu6710PrI&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344">

A.Keys, I dunno. I don't like to pigeonhole artists because people want to try different things and expand but I'm not feeling the dancing. 1) because it wasn't that good, and 2) because it's what Beyonce does, and Bey does it much better. And Alicia's vocals aren't that strong for her to be moving around that much. She's incredible behind the piano but tone down dancing, please. Or at least, try something original. (peep the floating piano too...i dunno)



FOR GOOD MEASURE:

Jay-Z isn't a lady as per the title of this post but with Alicia with him, it counts. The song of the moment-or last 3 months...especially if you're a Yankee fan (Holla!!!) and/or live in New York, and probably everywhere else. Unfortunately, I can't find a link that includes A-Rod introducing them. I love it...so appropriate on so many levels! A-Rod love to get his celebrity on, bless his heart. Alicia's intro is gorgeous, again Yankee fans can certainly appreciate it.

one health care victory for women

-Important Legislative Alert from American Association of Birth Centers-

Birth Center Bill (H.R. 2358) included in passage of the Affordable Health Care for America Act in the House

This past weekend the House passed a health care reform bill that included H.R. 2358 The Medicaid Birth Center Reimbursement Act. This victory for birth centers and childbearing families was because of your repeated contacts and calls with your Representative.

Now the action shifts to the Senate where they will have their own bill for health care reform (no number assigned yet). Our job is to make sure that S.1423 The Medicaid Birth Center Reimbursement Act is not stripped from the bill (it is currently included) - just like we did in the House!

CRITICAL NEXT STEPS

1) CALL or FAX YOUR SENATORS in Washington DC and a district office.

Click here for directions on how to contact your Senators' health care legislative assistants. Don't just leave your message with the receptionist - ask to leave a voice message for the Health L.A. If their voice mail box is full, please FAX the Health L.A. with your mesage and the document "Medicaid - Why guarantee payment to birth centers?"

Request that the Senator's staff get back to you about the Senator's position on our bill (S.1423). IF they do not support our legislation, please find out why and what it would take to support the Birth Center Medicaid Reimbursement Act.

After you have made your calls, please call or email AABC's lobbyist Karen Fennell and tell her who you talked with and any comments or additional information requested. Call Karen at 301-830-3910; Send email to karenfennell50@yahoo.com. This report to Karen is important so that she can follow-up.

2) THANK YOUR REPRESENTATIVES who supported the House Bill that included the Birth Center Bill (H.R. 2358).

Send a thank you letter to the district office of your Representatives who voted for the Affordable Health Care in America Act (H.R.3962) in the House.

Click here to find out how your Representative voted.

Thank you for continuing to make a difference in our legislative efforts!

Sincerely,
Jill Alliman
Jill Alliman, CNM, MSN
Chair, Legislative Committee

Chris Brown vs. Rihanna

I do not pretend to be a good writer. I never imagined myself sharing my most personal fears and frustrations on the internet, but in this instance, I could not remain silent.

I watched both the Rihanna and Chris Brown interviews. The real gravity of this situation seemingly would have been lost if these responses were not made public, timed, coincidentally of course, before the release their new albums.

Watching the interview, I thought back to my own experience with abuse. Although the majority of his offenses against me where verbal in nature, there was one physical incident that eventually led to my relocation to Florida and a new life that was certainly unexpected and uninvited.

As I watched Rihanna speak, I could hear her pain. When she mentioned the emptiness in his eyes as he was beating her, I felt a shiver down my spine as I remembered the same cold, black and soulless look that my abuser took on whenever he was in one of his rages. His eyes still haunt me today.

In watching Chris Brown’s response, I saw no remorse whatsoever. I sincerely believe that everyone makes mistakes. God knows I have made my fair share. But I can’t help to think that he was more concerned with people not liking him and the loss of his endorsements etc, than he was with the severity of his offense.

As I listened to each word, the anger in my own heart began to swell and I realized that I have not completely healed from that situation. Despite the progress that I have made since, the resentment stays with me. My heart has hardened in some ways. My youth was taken from me. With it, went my innocence and my trust in others. I continue to look for the good in people, but find myself waiting for the day that they will ultimately disappoint me.

I was speaking with one of my best friends over the weekend. I came to the conclusion that I could name at least seven CLOSE friends who have recently suffered mental and/or physical abuse. Of these, all are successful, educated, and beautiful women; none of which, from the outside, fit our typical model of a “battered woman”. In speaking with each, I recognize the embarrassment, anger, and fear that each carries.

I can not offer any solutions. I do not pretend to have the answer. What I will say is that healing is eminent.

To each of us, I speak healing, peace and forgiveness.

To all of the beautiful women that I love….Be Strong. Be Encouraged. Be You.